It sometimes baffles me how some businesses will go out of their way to annoy their customers – and potential customers – when customer service should be their primary concern. Let me outline 5 bad practices that are in common use. I am hoping that none of my readers employ any of these practices; however, if you do, it is never too late to repent and change your ways!

Spammy E-Mail

It is amazing how everybody seems to think that only other people send out spam. We all think that our own messages are important and that the recipients are sitting on the edge of their chairs, just waiting to hear from us. Guess what? It doesn’t work that way.

Spam is in the eyes of the beholder. If you are not already engaged in an e-mail conversation with the recipient, and you are initiating a marketing-related message, what you are sending out is an unsolicited e-mail. By definition, that is spam. If your e-mail is carefully crafted and subtle, many people might cut you a break. Want to increase the odds of having your message flagged as spam? Use a compiled list, use ALL CAPS in the subject line or body of your message, use different fonts and colors, or use words like “free”, “not spam”, “please read”, “winner”, “congratulations”, “selected”, “limited time”, “click here”, and “$$$”.

Junk Fax

Although the laws have been watered down in recent years and are rarely enforced, junk faxes are illegal. Nobody purchases a fax machine so they can get the latest offer on a “Funtacular Vacation” or “Ticket to Paradise” involving a trip to Cancun or the Bahamas. They also do not need to be contacted about emergency roof repairs after every heavy rainstorm, and, if they are in need of a small business loan, they are probably not going to arrange for one through a junk faxer. Are you going to pay for the recipients’ telephone line, ink or toner cartridges, paper, and electricity? If you send faxes to anyone who has not specifically requested your fax, get a life and stop it!

Telemarketing Calls

After the average person has already gotten calls on any given day from timeshare scammers and people in a boiler room in Bangalore who pretend to be working with either Google or Microsoft, they are already predisposed against receiving your phone call. I already have solar panels on my roof, so why do I get calls from at least 3 solar sales outfits every day? (Trust me … my solar installation did not originate with a telemarketing call!) The only thing certain about an unsolicited phone call is that the person at the receiving end is in the middle of doing something else that has nothing to do with anticipating your call. Disturbing people is not really the best marketing approach. Think of it like eating wild mushrooms. Unless you really know what you are doing, the experience is probably not going to end as well as you had hoped.

Unmonitored E-Mail

If you send somebody an e-mail message, particularly if it is a response to any type of consumer contact form, always ensure that the recipient can reply to your message. It amazes me how often I will contact a business (or a local politician, for that matter), only to get a canned response from an e-mail address that beings with “noreply” or “DoNotReply”. A few months ago, I sent a consumer inquiry to a major supermarket chain where I am a frequent customer. The response, with a “noreply” sender address, was addressed to “Dear Customer”, and continued, “The mailbox you attempted to send your e-mail to is not monitored. However, we do want to hear from you! For questions and comments, please contact us by calling: Consumer Affairs.” If your consumer affairs department has a contact form, and I have taken the time to initiate an e-mail conversation, why is your only response to tell me to call you on the phone – and probably get put on hold for several minutes?

Spell Your Customer’s Name Wrong

Finally, I remember about 10 or 15 years ago when I bought two season’s passes to a nearby summer theatre. I probably spent two or three hundred dollars for the tickets, but from that day forward, the theatre company started sending me mail addressed to “Paul Pillard”. Do you think that I ever renewed my subscription for another season, or even bought tickets for an individual production? No way! The supermarket that addressed me in their e-mail as “Dear Customer” was far better off than the theatre company that continually addressed me by the wrong name.

Speaking of names, never presume the use of a nickname or abbreviated name, and know how to pronounce a person’s name before speaking it. My name is Peter, and I am already predisposed against incoming telemarketing calls. Want to really call the wrong number? Be a total stranger who addresses me as “Pete”, or struggle with the pronunciation of my last name when you call me. If you catch me in a particularly good mood, you will not get an earful!

Okay, now that I have gotten these marketing pet peeves off my chest, I can go enjoy a pleasant dinner … until it gets interrupted by a telemarketing call.